There here! They finally made it through the dirt. My mind has been occupied with Tulsi Holy Basil. Yes. I'm a total dirt geek at heart coming into my own greenthumbness. I've been waiting and praying for the Holy Basil to rise up after feeling so guilty for letting it die last year without making one glass of tea, drying one leaf for tea, or planting one seed for the next year. Today I was reminded that its not about me. That the seed will rise again.
Last year I bought a Tulsi Holy Basil plant with great dreams of making my own tea and cultivating my own plants. I kept it in a large pot and watered it a few times a week. I always remembered I was going to make tea out of my plants in the garden at the precise moment I was drinking the healing Tulsi Basil Tea from a box I bought at the store. So I've carried this guilt since last September when the potted plant finally DIED (I thought). In fact it had gone to seed.
I'm still learning the flow of the seasons. I'm still learning the rhythm of the bursting life the spring, the seed pods that grow in the summer, the abundant harvest of the fall and the silent restful time of nature in winter. This rhythmic flow never stops, like a carousel without a timer. My job is to jump on and enjoy.
So when the Tulsi Holy Basil popped up in my garden in droves this week, I didn't believe it at first. I thought all those little plants were weeds. I picked them all and headed for the trashcan until I smelled that familiar intoxicating smell of the healing basil that is called Holy Basil. My faith was restored when I was reminded of nature's transcendent rhythm.
Tuesday, July 7
Monday, July 6
Moving Mountains #22
Walked outside today expecting the usual heat wave and instead experienced an almost cool breeze. For a moment I thought I was in New Mexico -- crisp breeze, very dry, the earth felt like it had expanded, taken a deep full breath.
Lately I've cooled off too. The struggle has always been so easy, feeling like I am alone and I have to get that almighty EVERYTHING done all by myself. That addiction is really all about control. We have been conditioned that if it's not hard it's not worth doing. As the ranch has been getting more publicity I fell into an old pattern - thinking that my work - the healing work - needed to take a backseat to "getting the ranch going."
As I let go of the reigns and look around me, I see that most of my needs that I struggle so hard to achieve are already taken care of. Take food for example. I'll struggle with the fact that I don't want to go to our only grocery store in town, Wal-Mart. Then someone from afar shows up with a bounty from Whole Foods or Central Market ready to share. And these days there is always something to eat from the garden. I'm still getting used to the miracle that food comes out of the ground if you water and care for it. Also,I've got two wonderful women who take care of the daily chores - and for these things among the many others I am so grateful.
Yet I still have an underlying feeling that I am not doing enough, that I need to work harder, send one more email. That feeling is the one that I am talking about that is the seed of the addiction, the seed that causes the reaction of STRUGGLE.
With Ruby home for the summer, I have a wonderful 5 year old that reminds me to step away from my computer and my list making and just play. It always takes me about 10 minutes...about as long as with the breathing...to disengage from the commander mind and enjoy my surroundings. This is what I'm talking about when I say I've "cooled off" and "let go of the reigns." Spending more time enjoying life - the blessings of a 5 year old...and a cool morning breeze in the middle of summer.
Lately I've cooled off too. The struggle has always been so easy, feeling like I am alone and I have to get that almighty EVERYTHING done all by myself. That addiction is really all about control. We have been conditioned that if it's not hard it's not worth doing. As the ranch has been getting more publicity I fell into an old pattern - thinking that my work - the healing work - needed to take a backseat to "getting the ranch going."
As I let go of the reigns and look around me, I see that most of my needs that I struggle so hard to achieve are already taken care of. Take food for example. I'll struggle with the fact that I don't want to go to our only grocery store in town, Wal-Mart. Then someone from afar shows up with a bounty from Whole Foods or Central Market ready to share. And these days there is always something to eat from the garden. I'm still getting used to the miracle that food comes out of the ground if you water and care for it. Also,I've got two wonderful women who take care of the daily chores - and for these things among the many others I am so grateful.
Yet I still have an underlying feeling that I am not doing enough, that I need to work harder, send one more email. That feeling is the one that I am talking about that is the seed of the addiction, the seed that causes the reaction of STRUGGLE.
With Ruby home for the summer, I have a wonderful 5 year old that reminds me to step away from my computer and my list making and just play. It always takes me about 10 minutes...about as long as with the breathing...to disengage from the commander mind and enjoy my surroundings. This is what I'm talking about when I say I've "cooled off" and "let go of the reigns." Spending more time enjoying life - the blessings of a 5 year old...and a cool morning breeze in the middle of summer.
Sunday, July 5
Moving Mountains #21
It's been a great day to begin my new perspective with faith - to trust that I am guided by a force much greater than me. We know it's true for plants. In the way the sun guides each plant to defy gravity and move to greater heights. In the way the water gives nourishment and the clouds that bring it feel like a blanket of serenity.
For many days the sun has burned down on the garden. Watering twice a day has done little to assuage the dryness and brittleness, the burn on the leaves. I awoke with a smile on my face at 2am. and listened to the rain for a few minutes before drifting back to sleep. The rain continued for hours, until mid-morning.
Today with the deep grey clouds and light drizzle the plants seemed to enjoy the respite of the pounding sun. Their leaves appeared relaxed, not shriveled in the afternoon as on days of intense heat. Late afternoon the humidity gave way to an easy breeze, bringing lesser temperatures that we have not felt in weeks.
I too have felt relaxed -- lazing about around the house most of the day and enjoying the overcast shade while cleaning the dead leaves off the parsley in the garden. Feeling supported by an unseen force that has an investment in me.
For many days the sun has burned down on the garden. Watering twice a day has done little to assuage the dryness and brittleness, the burn on the leaves. I awoke with a smile on my face at 2am. and listened to the rain for a few minutes before drifting back to sleep. The rain continued for hours, until mid-morning.
Today with the deep grey clouds and light drizzle the plants seemed to enjoy the respite of the pounding sun. Their leaves appeared relaxed, not shriveled in the afternoon as on days of intense heat. Late afternoon the humidity gave way to an easy breeze, bringing lesser temperatures that we have not felt in weeks.
I too have felt relaxed -- lazing about around the house most of the day and enjoying the overcast shade while cleaning the dead leaves off the parsley in the garden. Feeling supported by an unseen force that has an investment in me.
Saturday, July 4
Moving Mountains #20
INDEPENDENCE DAY UPDATE
My ideas about faith have changed in the last twenty days. I started this blog to report on every day instances of faith as proof that it exists. Well, it does exist. I got that part. Let's move on.
At the beginning of my 60 days I said that I would be relying on my own accounts of faith and not use anyone's quotes or ideas about it. Then I read M. Gandhi's quote, "Faith is not something to grasp, it is a state to grow into." This quote broadened my view of it as more than something to trust when I'm feeling needy or wanting. This quote raises the bar on my faith.
Faith, like merit, is collected over time. My little instances of faith add up and connect to each other. They have been magnetizing over time. The more I focus on where it is in my life the stronger the feeling I have that I am supported by faith. It's a little picture vs. big picture thing and I'm beginning to see the big picture.
My ideas about faith have changed in the last twenty days. I started this blog to report on every day instances of faith as proof that it exists. Well, it does exist. I got that part. Let's move on.
At the beginning of my 60 days I said that I would be relying on my own accounts of faith and not use anyone's quotes or ideas about it. Then I read M. Gandhi's quote, "Faith is not something to grasp, it is a state to grow into." This quote broadened my view of it as more than something to trust when I'm feeling needy or wanting. This quote raises the bar on my faith.
Faith, like merit, is collected over time. My little instances of faith add up and connect to each other. They have been magnetizing over time. The more I focus on where it is in my life the stronger the feeling I have that I am supported by faith. It's a little picture vs. big picture thing and I'm beginning to see the big picture.
Friday, July 3
Moving Mountains Day #19
Faith is a lot like water. Consider all the metaphors that have to do with water that can also be said about faith and let that seep into the sponge of your mind.
Here's an example:
I'm in my third year of gardening. Each season I feel more connected to the process. This year it's been about the water. Standing outside my garden in March I noticed for the first time the garden's steep gradient and how it sloped in one direction. My veggies were in raised boxes. It looked like the boxes had been set on a steep slope. At that point I understood why miniature carrots and beets had not grown to full size. The water did not go DOWN into the soil but rather splashed over the veggies as it rushed down-slope.
This year's garden has been all about working with the water. It's not a coincidence that as I cultivate my ojas -- or the nurturing water element of my body from yesterday's blog -- I'm also learning how to cultivate the water in my garden. Indeed, it's all connected.
This morning I noticed that in the plants that I planted earlier in the spring season the water wets the surface soil and then flows away from the plant. Many of these plants are struggling with shallow roots and light-colored leaves. Later in the season, I spent more time working with the soil to help it hold more water and send it downward. These plants seem to be thriving better in the extreme heat of the summer. Just as the plants need a slow and steady stream of water to go deep into it's roots to bear fruit in the summer, a steady stream of faith deepens our roots and helps us to thrive.
Here's an example:
I'm in my third year of gardening. Each season I feel more connected to the process. This year it's been about the water. Standing outside my garden in March I noticed for the first time the garden's steep gradient and how it sloped in one direction. My veggies were in raised boxes. It looked like the boxes had been set on a steep slope. At that point I understood why miniature carrots and beets had not grown to full size. The water did not go DOWN into the soil but rather splashed over the veggies as it rushed down-slope.
This year's garden has been all about working with the water. It's not a coincidence that as I cultivate my ojas -- or the nurturing water element of my body from yesterday's blog -- I'm also learning how to cultivate the water in my garden. Indeed, it's all connected.
This morning I noticed that in the plants that I planted earlier in the spring season the water wets the surface soil and then flows away from the plant. Many of these plants are struggling with shallow roots and light-colored leaves. Later in the season, I spent more time working with the soil to help it hold more water and send it downward. These plants seem to be thriving better in the extreme heat of the summer. Just as the plants need a slow and steady stream of water to go deep into it's roots to bear fruit in the summer, a steady stream of faith deepens our roots and helps us to thrive.
Thursday, July 2
Moving Mountains #18
Today faith is telling me to SLOW DOWN.
There's this familiar little, old tick somewhere deep inside that's telling me I have to have EVERYTHING done before the holiday. What is everything? When I ask, it disappears. Like a trickster, the phantom of the mind seduces me into believing I need to be in a frenzy about all the things on my to do list.
I know that it's faith telling me to slow down because listening to it requires that I trust it. The more I trust it I notice that the trusting is not the hard part. The hard part is my addiction to the feeling that I have to get such and such done, get as many suches and suches done as I can possibly fit into today.
Well guess what? Faith is telling me to slow down, my body is craving a breathing meditation session with the accoutrement of all the aromatherapy oils, set to music with lots of ocean sounds. My craving today is not for the feeling of completing tasks but of the healing nature of self-nurture - a swim in the depths of an ice blue surf on an extremely hot day.
There's this familiar little, old tick somewhere deep inside that's telling me I have to have EVERYTHING done before the holiday. What is everything? When I ask, it disappears. Like a trickster, the phantom of the mind seduces me into believing I need to be in a frenzy about all the things on my to do list.
I know that it's faith telling me to slow down because listening to it requires that I trust it. The more I trust it I notice that the trusting is not the hard part. The hard part is my addiction to the feeling that I have to get such and such done, get as many suches and suches done as I can possibly fit into today.
Well guess what? Faith is telling me to slow down, my body is craving a breathing meditation session with the accoutrement of all the aromatherapy oils, set to music with lots of ocean sounds. My craving today is not for the feeling of completing tasks but of the healing nature of self-nurture - a swim in the depths of an ice blue surf on an extremely hot day.
Wednesday, July 1
Moving Mountains Day #17
Have you ever stopped to think about the saying, "Hit the ground running"?
It used to be a big favorite of mine. The saying itself suggests, "Right now, I'm not at full throttle but get ready because I'm about to really go at it without any brakes."
We are not machines. When we live in the mindset that we must be on full-charge at all times our bodies wear down, our parasympathetic nervous system stays on constant guard - ready to react and perform, we drain the juice from our bodies and offer very little means of recharge. Then we wonder why we cannot sleep at night. We cannot expect our bodies to go like clockwork -from "hit the ground running," into a delta state of sleep -- unless we offer it some recharge. Cat naps, meditation, and breathing practices are just some of the ways to recharge. When recharge becomes routine, "hitting the ground running," becomes less important.
There is a concept in Ayurveda called ojas. Ojas is the water, the juice of our bodies that exists in a metaphorical well. Recharge and self care practices help keep the well full. Thus when we have a stressful day we can draw nourishment and healing from it.
Even though it is metaphorical, the idea of the well has saved my life. Before I knew about the well I was always sick with sinus infections and other minor illnesses that forced me to STOP running when I had hit the ground one too many times. Indeed, my well had dried up. When I began to picture the well inside me, I wanted to fill it. Yoga and breathing practices came easier. Also, I began an evening bedtime routine of oils and aromatherapy on my face and body which improved my sleeping and my overall well being.
Trusting faith is a very important aspect of ojas -- as the depth of ones faith effects the quality of ones well. Choosing to align with faith in any process or predicament reminds me that I am not alone, that I am supported. Faith reminds me that I no longer have to hit the ground running, that is the old way of being - survival mode. When I allow for recharge, the well is full, and I am thriving.
It used to be a big favorite of mine. The saying itself suggests, "Right now, I'm not at full throttle but get ready because I'm about to really go at it without any brakes."
We are not machines. When we live in the mindset that we must be on full-charge at all times our bodies wear down, our parasympathetic nervous system stays on constant guard - ready to react and perform, we drain the juice from our bodies and offer very little means of recharge. Then we wonder why we cannot sleep at night. We cannot expect our bodies to go like clockwork -from "hit the ground running," into a delta state of sleep -- unless we offer it some recharge. Cat naps, meditation, and breathing practices are just some of the ways to recharge. When recharge becomes routine, "hitting the ground running," becomes less important.
There is a concept in Ayurveda called ojas. Ojas is the water, the juice of our bodies that exists in a metaphorical well. Recharge and self care practices help keep the well full. Thus when we have a stressful day we can draw nourishment and healing from it.
Even though it is metaphorical, the idea of the well has saved my life. Before I knew about the well I was always sick with sinus infections and other minor illnesses that forced me to STOP running when I had hit the ground one too many times. Indeed, my well had dried up. When I began to picture the well inside me, I wanted to fill it. Yoga and breathing practices came easier. Also, I began an evening bedtime routine of oils and aromatherapy on my face and body which improved my sleeping and my overall well being.
Trusting faith is a very important aspect of ojas -- as the depth of ones faith effects the quality of ones well. Choosing to align with faith in any process or predicament reminds me that I am not alone, that I am supported. Faith reminds me that I no longer have to hit the ground running, that is the old way of being - survival mode. When I allow for recharge, the well is full, and I am thriving.
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