What is faith? What does it look like, smell like, and feel like? These were the questions I asked sixty days ago as I set out with my archaeology cap to excavate faith.
So what is it? To me, faith is trust in my inner compass. I think of nature, full of life and vibrant energy. There's no pontificating, no didactic cynicism in the natural world. There is only instinct man! Pure, wild, split-second instinct is the key to survival. That is the realm of faith.
My MO for years was to think it through. Whatever it was, I was going to think it through until I had talked myself out of it. There was very little action and the things I did accomplish were done in a sticky, gooey feeling - almost as if I was stuck in taffy. Nothing came easy, every job, every duty was a passionless chore. I had no faith and trusted my mind and my book knowledge to lead me.
The birds, the hawks, the dogs, the horses, the garden, the river - these are my daily reminders easier to let go of the intellect, to stop comparing what happened in the past to what might happen in the future. To not listen to my mind that tells me that if I don't constantly weigh my past and future then I am somehow unsafe.
My plan is to keep on with my plan, to trust my intuition and let faith and grace manifest spontaneously, which it will, through my trust in the process.
Showing posts with label garden. Show all posts
Showing posts with label garden. Show all posts
Thursday, August 13
Tuesday, August 11
Moving Mountains #58
It's been raining a lot this August, more than I remember in a while. The garden, such a great metaphor for the f word, faith, that I'm wrapping up on blogging about. I always thought that nothing grew in Texas in August, yet this summer my garden is green and tall. Sure, a few things have died off, the giant leaves of the zucchini have shriveled and gone on. The cantaloupe bore two delicious fruits and faded, the arugula - once wild and free has passed on. The tomatoes, peppers, and basil still thrill.
So, water. Water. Water. Water. It helps when it's coming from the sky and not the faucet. Also, I've worked to temper the slope in my garden to help the water go down instead of out. I will continue to do that next year and it will help the garden to grow stronger. The other, very important aspect that I always underestimated is the soil. Every year I see my plants grow stronger as I improve the soil, till it, move it, add stuff to it. All of these garden factors are only worth their weight until you add love. It is the affection and attention to the soil, the exchange with my garden that brings me joy and that reflects in the growth of the plants. What a lesson my third year of gardening has been. It gets better and stronger every year, just like me.
So, water. Water. Water. Water. It helps when it's coming from the sky and not the faucet. Also, I've worked to temper the slope in my garden to help the water go down instead of out. I will continue to do that next year and it will help the garden to grow stronger. The other, very important aspect that I always underestimated is the soil. Every year I see my plants grow stronger as I improve the soil, till it, move it, add stuff to it. All of these garden factors are only worth their weight until you add love. It is the affection and attention to the soil, the exchange with my garden that brings me joy and that reflects in the growth of the plants. What a lesson my third year of gardening has been. It gets better and stronger every year, just like me.
Monday, August 10
Moving Mountains #57
Corn! The corn is high in the garden. This is my proof of faith for the day.
I never realized how tall corn is, I've only seen it from my car window or at the least 10 feet away. To stand in front of a corn stalk is pretty wonderful. Some are 6 feet tall. The have sprouted at the top and a few are flowering corn out of their sides. It feels like such a feat. To think that a couple of months ago I stuck some corn kernels in the ground and now they've made numerous corn kernels. It's abundance in action.
Most of the corn I planted came from some of that beautiful decorative corn that you buy at harvest to look festive during the fall. It came in many colors, some black kernels, some a deep crimson red, and others were a marble of red, black and yellow. The fun is going to be opening each husk and finding out what's inside.I wait like a kid at Christmas, outside my garden door. Yet I have patience. I know they are not ready and I want them to be gorgeous at harvest. Indeed, the concept of harvest is becoming more than the title of a classic, rooted, and much enjoyed album.
I never realized how tall corn is, I've only seen it from my car window or at the least 10 feet away. To stand in front of a corn stalk is pretty wonderful. Some are 6 feet tall. The have sprouted at the top and a few are flowering corn out of their sides. It feels like such a feat. To think that a couple of months ago I stuck some corn kernels in the ground and now they've made numerous corn kernels. It's abundance in action.
Most of the corn I planted came from some of that beautiful decorative corn that you buy at harvest to look festive during the fall. It came in many colors, some black kernels, some a deep crimson red, and others were a marble of red, black and yellow. The fun is going to be opening each husk and finding out what's inside.I wait like a kid at Christmas, outside my garden door. Yet I have patience. I know they are not ready and I want them to be gorgeous at harvest. Indeed, the concept of harvest is becoming more than the title of a classic, rooted, and much enjoyed album.
Sunday, July 12
Moving Mountains #28
Sunday morning! It's still early enough to feel a light breeze, the sun has not even popped fully over the west side of the hacienda into my window. I love the morning, it's newness and hope for the day, the busy birds, the plants getting ready for the throng of heat on its way.
Sundays have a special lilt, a sobering, grounding feel of peace and rest. I'm thinking about the garden. To be there now, with maybe a little dew drop or two left on the tomato plant, a ripe yellow pear tomato ready to pop into my mouth.
Faith is cultivated here. In the spaces in between the busy part of the day. In the work of keeping the soil moist and the plants happy. And it's so much easier now at this time of morning than when the sun is higher in the sky.
Sundays have a special lilt, a sobering, grounding feel of peace and rest. I'm thinking about the garden. To be there now, with maybe a little dew drop or two left on the tomato plant, a ripe yellow pear tomato ready to pop into my mouth.
Faith is cultivated here. In the spaces in between the busy part of the day. In the work of keeping the soil moist and the plants happy. And it's so much easier now at this time of morning than when the sun is higher in the sky.
Wednesday, July 8
Moving Mountains #24
"Faith sees a beautiful blossom in a bulb, a lovely garden in a seed, and a giant oak in an acorn." William Arthur Ward (1921-1994)
I love this quote. It is such a simple reminder of all the support we have for our growth. I'm going to sit with this one a while and see what I can visualize for myself with this poem as a template and see what comes up. Please feel free to do the same. Enjoy!
I love this quote. It is such a simple reminder of all the support we have for our growth. I'm going to sit with this one a while and see what I can visualize for myself with this poem as a template and see what comes up. Please feel free to do the same. Enjoy!
Monday, July 6
Moving Mountains #22
Walked outside today expecting the usual heat wave and instead experienced an almost cool breeze. For a moment I thought I was in New Mexico -- crisp breeze, very dry, the earth felt like it had expanded, taken a deep full breath.
Lately I've cooled off too. The struggle has always been so easy, feeling like I am alone and I have to get that almighty EVERYTHING done all by myself. That addiction is really all about control. We have been conditioned that if it's not hard it's not worth doing. As the ranch has been getting more publicity I fell into an old pattern - thinking that my work - the healing work - needed to take a backseat to "getting the ranch going."
As I let go of the reigns and look around me, I see that most of my needs that I struggle so hard to achieve are already taken care of. Take food for example. I'll struggle with the fact that I don't want to go to our only grocery store in town, Wal-Mart. Then someone from afar shows up with a bounty from Whole Foods or Central Market ready to share. And these days there is always something to eat from the garden. I'm still getting used to the miracle that food comes out of the ground if you water and care for it. Also,I've got two wonderful women who take care of the daily chores - and for these things among the many others I am so grateful.
Yet I still have an underlying feeling that I am not doing enough, that I need to work harder, send one more email. That feeling is the one that I am talking about that is the seed of the addiction, the seed that causes the reaction of STRUGGLE.
With Ruby home for the summer, I have a wonderful 5 year old that reminds me to step away from my computer and my list making and just play. It always takes me about 10 minutes...about as long as with the breathing...to disengage from the commander mind and enjoy my surroundings. This is what I'm talking about when I say I've "cooled off" and "let go of the reigns." Spending more time enjoying life - the blessings of a 5 year old...and a cool morning breeze in the middle of summer.
Lately I've cooled off too. The struggle has always been so easy, feeling like I am alone and I have to get that almighty EVERYTHING done all by myself. That addiction is really all about control. We have been conditioned that if it's not hard it's not worth doing. As the ranch has been getting more publicity I fell into an old pattern - thinking that my work - the healing work - needed to take a backseat to "getting the ranch going."
As I let go of the reigns and look around me, I see that most of my needs that I struggle so hard to achieve are already taken care of. Take food for example. I'll struggle with the fact that I don't want to go to our only grocery store in town, Wal-Mart. Then someone from afar shows up with a bounty from Whole Foods or Central Market ready to share. And these days there is always something to eat from the garden. I'm still getting used to the miracle that food comes out of the ground if you water and care for it. Also,I've got two wonderful women who take care of the daily chores - and for these things among the many others I am so grateful.
Yet I still have an underlying feeling that I am not doing enough, that I need to work harder, send one more email. That feeling is the one that I am talking about that is the seed of the addiction, the seed that causes the reaction of STRUGGLE.
With Ruby home for the summer, I have a wonderful 5 year old that reminds me to step away from my computer and my list making and just play. It always takes me about 10 minutes...about as long as with the breathing...to disengage from the commander mind and enjoy my surroundings. This is what I'm talking about when I say I've "cooled off" and "let go of the reigns." Spending more time enjoying life - the blessings of a 5 year old...and a cool morning breeze in the middle of summer.
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