New Mexico is vibrant today with thundercloud skies and bursting new life in the plants and animals. Thirty-three of us have gathered for a holiday weekend retreat, some old friends, some new. We are here to meditate on, what it means to thrive, on connecting to the land, and to the brilliance of spring renewal-- of raven baby chicks ready to fly the nest any day now, of new baby lettuces from the garden. There's always a little bit of a "Big Chill," quality at these retreats -- people gathering from New York, LA, Chicago, Texas and places in between. Some I haven't seen in a while, others whose names I am just learning bear timeless faces I feel I've known forever.
What has come up very strong for me since I've been here is to understand -- and FEEL all over my body and know in my heart that the universe will provide for me. Here is the deal: I have so many blessings in my life, yet I still struggle with the same old tired mindset that exists in survival mode. As we began our discussion yesterday I compared myself now to myself in the past, "I'm doing better, therefore, I am thriving? My garden improves every year. I feel more balanced between the ranch, the healing business, mothering, writing.
The challenge with the thriving or surviving question goes back to exchange, faith, and worth. In survival mode the mindset is about getting: I need more money, I need to get this or that done, I need to treat my body better, I need to do more writing. Whatever the need is, it is dominant.
So how do I trust in the abundance in my life? How do I trust in the faith of the concept of give-away -- that the more I give, the more I get? That it will continue when I'm not focused so much on what I need and instead focus on what I love to do? Well, that is why I am here this weekend, surrounded by people I love, that have chosen to be here this weekend to explore these same lessons of thriving over surviving and other lessons about the land and what it teaches us.